This morning as I reflect on certain beliefs and attitudes that affect my relationships in a way that stirs up dissension, I realize that my self-centeredness colors my posture constantly and in ways I don’t yet understand. I am grateful for a growing sensitivity and awareness to how I affect others, I am grateful for the courage to look at it, for willingness to drop defensiveness, for trust that God knows how to work out tension.
Learning to Be Disarmed
I’m learning to appreciate being disarmed. The discomfort is being replaced by confidence. I recognize it as humility and courage. And then I think I have an expectant joy around change. I tell myself the more uncomfortable the better.
The depth of my pain has historically led to ideation. Now I stop that thought process and name it as a great lesson to encourage myself.
Infrastructure for Change
I have fellow travelers, many people around me. And what seems like new subject matter, a new level of transparency, perspective, honesty. But not there yet. I’ve always gotten hung up on my emotions. I bought a new chair for my office to practice writing, and an Apple Pencil for journaling. And I have a new sponsee whose life I’ve been speaking into. And my wife is amazing.
Digging for Bedrock
“There” would be bedrock. I keep digging and finding contaminated soil. My house has been shifting and splintering and everyone could see it and I have been patching like a madman. Now it’s full renovation time, and I’m not a contractor so I don’t even appreciate the full process. Humility means I trudge forward.
Quicksand
Last night it was realizing that my tattoos, my story, and the lessons that have shaped me might be quicksand.
Misplaced confidence. What have I missed? Who am I really? What have I been forcing into darkness? How false am I? What could have been? Why have I survived this? Everything gets reframed—my brother’s death, I see consequence.
What Choice Do I Have
What choice do I have? This is what I signed up for. Sober over 30 years. 27 years married yesterday. I’m not running away. The things coming to the surface have been prophesied in my conscious my entire life. I have people in A.A. and particularly ACA who have worked through this. So I have hope.
The Cost to Others
Holy crap I can’t even imagine what she’s tolerated. That’s the most humbling. She doesn’t deserve this.
A Fresh Wound
The kids planned a family tattoo day. In a moment of destabilization, I said “that’s stupid.”
What Happened
I said “that’s stupid.”
She heard contempt and rejection, not nuance.
In a family context, contempt lands as: “What you want—and by extension, who you are—is beneath me.”
The first thing I did upon awakening was go to her and apologized for my inappropriate comment, saying it was about me and my issues.
Reframed
I want to participate in the family tattoo day. A lighthearted tattoo would do me good.
A reframed tattoo. It might be the most significant one ever, that I could get one framed in the spirit of joy. It goes so deep, I have not even explored all of the implications. I want to do that with Madeline, but need to regain her trust.
This lighthearted tattoo could actually be the bedrock moment. Not because it carries the weight of my suffering or survival or lessons learned, but precisely because it doesn’t. Because it comes from joy, from connection, from showing up in love rather than in self-constructed meaning.
All my other tattoos might be about me—my story, my identity, my narrative. This one would be about them. About being present. About choosing participation over performance.
The trust doesn’t get regained through grand gestures or perfect explanations. It gets rebuilt through consistency—through more moments of showing up, apologizing when I miss, not requiring her to absolve me or make it easy, staying engaged even when it’s uncomfortable.
I started this conversation wondering if I was an “empath” and if my mom was a “narcissist.” I was looking for a framework, something to help me understand and maybe control what I was feeling. What I discovered was that I didn’t need labels—I needed to face some hard truths about myself and my relationships.
I’m 56 years old. I’ve been sober since July 14, 1995—30 years. And this past year, for the first time in my life, I’ve been learning how to actually feel my feelings instead of just surviving them.
The Backstory: A Lifetime of Suppression
A counselor told me six months ago that I’m an empath—someone who feels deeply but has learned to suppress and protect. That revelation blew my mind. At 56, I realized I’ve been having emotions my whole life but never really knowing them. They just ball up into this horrible dread where I think I did something wrong… that I am wrong.
Here’s the thing: I got sober at 25, but I first went to AA at 16. I used substances to manage feelings I didn’t understand, got sober young, and then just… kept surviving. For 30 years, I white-knuckled sobriety without the underlying emotional tools. Five years ago I sought professional help and was put on anti-depressants.
This last year has been about self-awareness, growing up, self-parenting, identifying feelings, getting out of survival mode. I call it saving my marriage. My wife couldn’t carry me anymore—the kids grew up, a few moved out, and she finally said she couldn’t do it. Instead of ending us, that became the catalyst for me to finally build my own emotional foundation.
The Cascade: When Everything Fell Apart
Then came last Sunday. A series of triggers that in the past would have completely wiped me out:
Sunday-Monday: A guy I sponsor who’s 23 and less than a month sober, agreed to meet me at church but came 30 minutes late. Then agreed to meet me at a Monday noon meeting and didn’t show at all—made other plans and forgot to text me.
Monday evening: When I tried to share my hurt with my wife, she responded with irritation: “You’re making it all about you.” So I shut down. When the next thing happened, I couldn’t go to her because I’d already been dismissed once.
Tuesday: My sponsor and I had agreed to meet at 5:30 at a restaurant before a meeting. I organized my whole evening around it—told my wife and employee, left work early, went home and changed, got there at 5:27 and sat waiting. At 5:43 I texted him. He called and told me it was “not confirmed.” He said “don’t put this on me” and that from now on “we need to confirm.”
Consumed with feelings of betrayal, I had intrusive thoughts about hurting him. The old war machine fired up—the familiar “fuck its” I hadn’t tasted in a long time. I drove recklessly. I isolated. The survival instinct was fully triggered.
The Prayer: Finding the Way Through
But I’ve learned something in 30 years: not to trust that old machine. To be patient. To sit in the ditch, be calm, wait expectantly. So I prayed:
God, please direct my thinking, especially that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, and self-seeking motives. Show me throughout the day what my next step will be. Give me whatever I need to take care of whatever problems I may face. Help me especially, Lord, to be free from self-will. Show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindness, and love. Save me from being angry. Remove fear from me and direct me to what you would have me be. How can I be helpful to others? I offer myself to you—to build with me and to do with me as you will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of life.
And things turned around.
The Breakthrough: What Was Revealed
Eventually my wife asked me questions and I told her what happened with my sponsor. She responded with great understanding and empathy. My sponsee reached out and I forgave him and encouraged him. A customer issue resolved itself. My friend reached out, listened, and told me about an AI tool where I could process everything I was feeling.
Through talking it out, I realized something profound: I was stuck between two impossible realities.
My sponsor genuinely forgot/misunderstood and I’m overreacting (which means I’m wrong, making it about me, being too sensitive—my lifelong default)
My sponsor flaked, knew it, and deflected blame onto me (which means someone I trusted for 4 years just gaslighted me)
Both felt unbearable. The first one means I’m broken. The second means I was betrayed.
But here’s what I know for sure: my sponsor and I agreed on Tuesday, 5:30, at a specific restaurant. I didn’t imagine that. I organized my whole evening around it. I told multiple people. I left work early. I changed clothes. I showed up at 5:27.
That’s not ambiguous. That’s not “we need to confirm better.” That WAS confirmed.
The Core Wound: “I’m the Problem”
What I discovered is that I have a mechanism inside me that automatically takes responsibility for everything. When something bad happens, I immediately make it my fault, absorb all the blame, go silent, protect everyone else from my feelings, shut down, and handle it alone.
This is what I learned as a kid. It’s survival. Because if it’s my fault, then:
I don’t have to confront anyone
I don’t risk more abandonment
I don’t have to feel the unbearable reality that someone hurt me
I stay “safe” (frozen, but safe)
My entire survival system was built on “I’m the problem.” When I was a kid, the only way to make sense of a chaotic, painful world was to believe I caused it. Because if I caused it, maybe I could fix it. “I’m the problem” gave me control in a situation where I had none.
For 56 years, every time something went wrong, that mechanism kicked in: “What did I do? How is this my fault? What’s wrong with me?”
The Shift: Learning to Trust Myself
The work I’m doing now, with therapy, with identifying emotions for the first time—is stripping away my ability to NOT feel. I can’t dissociate as easily anymore. I can’t suppress as automatically. The feelings are breaking through.
When something is laid out clearly—when I can see that my sponsor actually did wrong me, that it wasn’t my fault—it makes me cry. I get frozen. Because when it’s clear, I can’t hide from it anymore. I can’t make excuses. I can’t make it my fault. I can’t minimize it.
I have to feel the betrayal. And that’s what makes me freeze.
But I’m learning: My perception of reality is valid—even when someone else contradicts it.
The Rebuilding: Fellow Travelers
I’ve known one particular fellow for 30 years. When I was 25-27, early in sobriety, I was the disrespectful kid in the back row at meetings—on my phone, cross-talking, laughing with buddies. He was the mature guy with time giving trustworthy shares, probably annoyed as hell at us.
Several months ago, I walked into a Saturday morning meeting looking to spill my shame. At the end of the meeting this fellow approached me, asked for my number. When he entered it into his phone, my name appeared—he’d had it for years but didn’t recognize me. He later called to confess this, and I joked, “I’m honored to be getting attention from the guy I pissed off so many years ago!”
This friend has 40 years sober. He invited me to an ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meeting he started. He referred me to a great therapist. He’s been walking with me through this whole transformation.
Yesterday morning, I called this friend. I filled him in on everything—the cascade, the sponsor, the betrayal, the shutdown. I didn’t want to, but I asked him to be my sponsor.
He didn’t say no, but he asks everyone he works with to not call him “sponsor.” He prefers “fellow travelers.” He rejects the hierarchy. But in essence, he accepted me.
What I Know Now
The sponsor was the catalyst, but he’s not the point. The earthquake cracked everything open and revealed:
How deep the “I’m the problem” mechanism goes
How badly I needed a different kind of sponsorship
How ready I was to ask for what I need
How much capacity I have to show up for others even while hurting
That a fellow has been there all along, waiting for me to be ready
What happened with the sponsor isn’t relevant to how I can love a sponsee and walk with other fellows. I’m not minimizing what my sponsor did. I’m not making it my fault anymore. I’m just not letting it have power over what comes next.
That’s healing. Real healing.
Not “I’m over it” (I’m not, it still hurts). But “this doesn’t get to stop me.”
The Requirements Going Forward
I know now what I need in someone I walk with:
Someone who can hold space for my emotions without getting defensive
Someone who models accountability
Someone who’s doing their own deep work
Someone who can handle me being angry without making it about them
That’s not asking too much. That’s asking for what I need to keep growing.
Where I Am Now
I’m 56 years old. Thirty years sober. Four kids who are young adults. A wife who finally feels safe with me. A new fellow traveler who sees me. A young man I’m sponsoring who needs me to show up. A therapist who’s helping me understand myself. A prepaid hypnosis session waiting for when I’m ready to go after the deep childhood wound.
And the holidays are coming. January 2-5, all four of my kids will be home. Six of us under one roof. The thing I actually wanted.
I came into this conversation wondering if I was an empath and if my mom was a narcissist. What I learned is that I needed to face whether I can trust my own perception of reality. Whether I can handle what’s coming. Whether I’m capable of real intimacy after a lifetime of protecting myself from it.
This week showed me: Yes, I can.
Not perfectly. Not without pain. But I can stand tall in spite of the offense. I can keep showing up. I can choose intimacy over protection. I can ask for what I need even when it scares me.
A person who is constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves typically struggles with deeply ingrained psychological or emotional barriers that prevent them from confronting difficult truths. This could be due to:
Denial: They might avoid acknowledging painful realities or uncomfortable aspects of themselves as a defense mechanism to avoid emotional distress.
Fear of Vulnerability: Honesty with oneself requires facing fears, mistakes, and imperfections, which can feel threatening to those who fear being vulnerable.
Low Self-Awareness: Some people lack the ability or willingness to engage in self-reflection, which makes it difficult for them to see their own flaws, biases, or emotions clearly.
Cognitive Dissonance: When their actions and beliefs are in conflict, they may unconsciously distort or rationalize their behavior to maintain a sense of internal consistency, avoiding uncomfortable truths.
Narcissism or Ego Defense: Those with inflated egos or narcissistic tendencies may reject any self-criticism to protect their self-image.
Trauma or Psychological Wounds: Deep emotional wounds from past experiences might make it too painful for someone to confront certain truths, leading them to develop mechanisms that prevent self-honesty.
In essence, such individuals have developed coping mechanisms that protect them from emotional discomfort but hinder their ability to be honest with themselves.
There is a realization that can hit a man hard, late at night when the house is quiet and the day’s conversations replay themselves without permission. I am selfish. Not in the casual way people toss the word around, but heavy, the way a verdict lands. I have felt this. I have watched my own self-centeredness ripple outward and touch the people I love most, and in that moment it does not feel like a flaw. It feels like evil. It feels like proof of something rotten underneath.
But I have learned, slowly and at real cost, that the pain itself is the evidence against the verdict. A man who is actually evil does not lie awake grieving the wound he caused. The grief is not the disease. The grief is the immune system doing its work.
For most of my life I could not tell the difference between guilt and shame, and that confusion cost me years. Guilt says, I did something wrong. Shame says, I am something wrong. Guilt can be carried to the cross and set down. Shame cannot, because shame was never about the act — it is about identity, and you cannot repent your way out of an identity you never chose in the first place. I built mine in a house where I learned early that love was conditional and safety was not guaranteed, and I have spent my adult life mistaking that old inherited verdict — I am wrong, I am defective — for present-tense truth about who I actually am. When I collapse a moment of selfishness into a referendum on my whole self, I am not taking responsibility. I am condemning myself, and condemnation has never once produced change in me. It has only ever produced hiding.
What I have come to understand is that most of what looks like selfishness in me is fear wearing a disguise. Fear of not being valued. Fear of being dismissed, overwhelmed, found not enough. When my mind gets flooded — too much coming at me, too many demands, too much noise — something in me reverts to an old survival architecture that was built decades before I had any say in the matter. That architecture is self-focused by design. It narrows the lens. It protects first and connects later, if at all. And left unexamined, it will quietly erode the very relationships I am trying to protect myself within.
Naming this is not an excuse. It is clarity, and clarity has become the hinge point of my recovery. There is a version of self-awareness that stays soft and observational — I interrupted because I needed to be heard, rather than I am a terrible husband — and learning to speak to myself that way, describing the behavior instead of sentencing the man, has done more for my growth than any amount of self-flagellation ever managed. I cannot change what I refuse to see. But I have also learned, the hard way, that I cannot change what I crush under shame either. The wounded child in me does not respond to condemnation. He only knows how to hide from it.
So growth, for me, has stopped looking like a personality overhaul and started looking like small, unglamorous repetitions. A pause before I speak. One more question than instinct wants to ask. Reflecting back what Madeline just said before I offer my opinion on it. A quick apology the moment I notice I have slipped, rather than the slow defended one that comes hours later once pride has had its say. None of these are dramatic. But small things, practiced daily, are what actually rebuild trust — not promises, not grand resolutions, but patterns sustained over time.
And where I have caused real damage, I have learned that repair is still available to me. A genuine apology, not a strategic one. A willingness to listen without defending myself in the middle of someone else’s pain. Consistent behavior, held over months and years, not a single dramatic gesture meant to close the account quickly. Trust does not rebuild on eloquence. It rebuilds on evidence.
Every man carries selfish impulses. That is not a special indictment of me; it is simply what it means to be human before grace does its slow work. The difference between a man who stays stuck and a man who is actually growing was never perfection. It was willingness. If I feel the pain of my own patterns, if I want to change, if the impact I have on the people I love actually matters to me — then I am not beyond hope. I am in the middle of something.
I will slip. I already know this about myself. I will default to the old wiring and catch myself mid-sentence having made it about me again. But I have started to understand that this is not failure — it is awareness arriving faster than it used to. Growth was never going to mean the elimination of selfishness overnight. It means its grip loosening, little by little, while my capacity for empathy and humility and presence slowly grows to take its place. One day at a time. One conversation at a time.
And the fact that I am still asking these questions, still willing to look at this in myself instead of looking away — that is not evidence of evil.
“He has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts.” (2 Corinthians 1:22 NLT)
Your faith will grow stronger as you focus on your identity in Christ (Galatians 2).
What this means is that you abandon any image of yourself that is not from God. You stop accepting what others have said about you, how others have labeled you, and how others have defined you.
You start believing what God says about you, that he is pleased with how he created you, and that God defines you.
You’re not defined by your feelings. You’re not defined by the opinions of others or by your circumstances. You’re not defined by your successes or failures. You’re not defined by the car you drive, the money you make, or the house you say you own when the bank really does.
You are defined by God and God alone. He identifies you as his own (2 Corinthians 1:22).
The thing is, if you don’t know who you are, then you’re vulnerable to other people telling you who you are. But the concrete, solid, gospel truth is that you are who God says you are, and no one else has a vote in the matter.
This “identity issue” is an important part of living the abundant life. Jesus was able to face the incredible demands of his mission because he knew exactly who he was. He knew that he mattered to God, and that gave him confidence to move purposefully in faith.
You are now identified with Christ and have the power of the Holy Spirit within you. You are God’s precious child, and he created you in a way that pleases him.
“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. God has now revealed to us his mysterious will regarding Christ—which is to fulfill his own good plan. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.” Ephesians 1:4-14 NLT
“You are built for love from the inside out. You are built for love from the outside in. You exist in a universe that is love. You exist in a world that is aligned to love. We have bought the lie that it is hostile and oppositional to us. We need to remember what is deeply, most profoundly true about us and about everybody else on the planet. We are deeply, truly, passionately loved by the King and Creator of the universe and that is why we exist. It is spoken by love, it is formed by love, it is inbreathed by love. And only love can see the soul as it truly is. This is why it is so important that as part of the stewardship of your soul, you love the you that God loves. Because if you and God disagree, you’re wrong.” — Bill Dogteromon Genesis 2
WHO AM I
2 Corinthians 5:17 — Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
1 Peter 2:9 — But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Galatians 2:20 — I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
John 15:15 — No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
2 Corinthians 1:22 — set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
John 1:12 — But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.
Romans 8:17 — And if children, then heirs – heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
Colossians 3:3 — For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Galatians 3:26 — For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.
Romans 8:1 — There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:20 — But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 12:27 — Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 — Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Ephesians 2:10 — For we are God’s masterpiece, created to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 4:24 — And to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
John 1:12 — Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.
Ephesians 1:5 — he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.
Romans 15:7 — Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Colossians 2:9-10 — For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.
1 Corinthians 6:17 — But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
2 Corinthians 5:20 — We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
Romans 6:6 — For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.
Genesis 1:27 — So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Jeremiah 1:5 — “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
1 Peter 1:1-2 — Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
Galatians 3:27-28 — for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
1 John 3:1-2 — See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
Colossians 3:1-3 — Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Matthew 11:30 — “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (How valuable am I that Jesus wants my burdens – supported)
John 10:10 — The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Luke 23:34 — Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (We are far more important than our behavior -forgiven)
Genesis 12:1 — I will bless you… and you will be a blessing.
John 3:16 — For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Forever grateful for Terry Ladow whose love, teaching, and wisdom taught me truth
Several Bible verses can be seen to support the idea that each person is a unique creation of God, made in His image, with inherent value and purpose:
1. **Genesis 1:26-27** – “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” This passage directly speaks to humanity being made in God’s image, emphasizing the unique dignity and purpose conferred upon humans.
2. **Psalm 139:14** – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This verse celebrates the intricate and marvelous creation of each individual, suggesting a uniqueness and value to each person’s existence.
3. **Ephesians 2:10** – “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” This implies that each person is not only created by God but for a specific purpose or set of purposes.
4. **Jeremiah 1:5** – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” While this was specifically said to Jeremiah, it’s often interpreted as a general statement about God’s knowledge and plan for each individual before they are born, highlighting their unique role and purpose.
5. **Isaiah 43:4** – “Because you are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you.” This verse conveys a sense of individual worth and value to God, which can be seen as part of being made in His image.
6. **1 Peter 2:9** – “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” This scripture speaks to the special and unique role believers have in God’s plan, suggesting a purpose and calling for each individual.
These verses collectively convey the notion that humans are uniquely created by God, each with a singular purpose, reflecting His image, which aligns with the sentiment of being “an incredibly magnificent, unbelievably rare, unrepeatable miracle.”
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep, full relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But GOD says, “No. Not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being loved by ME alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to ME, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with ME alone. I love you my child. Until you discover that only in ME is your satisfaction to be found (Psalm 73:25-26), you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with ME, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.”
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“I want you to stop wishing and stop planning. Allow ME to bring that person to you. You just keep watching ME, expecting the greatest things. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That’s all!” (Psalm 27:14)
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“Don’t be anxious, don’t worry (Philippians 4:6-7), don’t look around at the things others have or what I have given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking up to ME or you will miss what I want to show you. When you are ready, I will surprise you with a love more wonderful than you would ever have dreamed (Song of Solomon 2:7). You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready—I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time—until you are both satisfied exclusively with ME and the life I have prepared for you (Ecclesiastes 3:11), you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with ME. This is perfect love.”
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“And dear one, I want you to have this wonderful love. I want you to see—in the flesh—a picture of your relationship with ME, and enjoy maturely and concretely, the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with MYSELF.” (Ephesians 3:17-19)
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“Please know that I love you utterly. Believe It And Be Satisfied.” (Zephaniah 3:17)
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“It is hard to stumble . . . on your knees.” (James 4:6-8)
God
Viruses That Destroy Spiritual Life, Part 4 – Sexual Impurity, Kenton Beshore
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep, full relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But GOD says, “No. Not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being loved by ME alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to ME, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with ME alone. I love you my child. Until you discover that only in ME is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with ME, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.”
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“I want you to stop wishing and stop planning. Allow ME to bring that person to you. You just keep watching ME, expecting the greatest things. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That’s all!”
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“Don’t be anxious, don’t worry, don’t look around at the things others have or what I have given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking up to ME or you will miss what I want to show you. When you are ready, I will surprise you with a love more wonderful than you would ever have dreamed. You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready—I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time—until you are both satisfied exclusively with ME and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with ME. This is perfect love.”
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“And dear one, I want you to have this wonderful love. I want you to see—in the flesh—a picture of your relationship with ME, and enjoy maturely and concretely, the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with MYSELF.”
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“Please know that I love you utterly. Believe It And Be Satisfied.”
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“It is hard to stumble… on your knees.”
GOD
Viruses That Destroy Spiritual Life, Part 4 – Sexual Impurity, Kenton Beshore
Psalm1 – Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.
Psalm 5:3 – O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.
Psalm 23 – The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 46 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Psalm 90:14 – Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Psalm 103 – Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments. The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.
Bless the Lord, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his word, obeying the voice of his word! Bless the Lord, all his hosts, his ministers, who do his will! Bless the Lord, all his works, in all places of his dominion. Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Psalm 118:24 – This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 119:105 – Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 143:8 – Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 150:1 – Praise the Lord!
The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else. “Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord”;… The Highest Good—The Pilgrim’s Song Book, 537 L
Today I am putting off the old pattern and putting on this mind — not because the old groove is gone, but because this is how it gets replaced (Ephesians 4:22-24). Repetition built the old attitude. Repetition, given to God, will build the new one.
Reading #1 — I Am His
I am beloved. God set his love on me before I did anything to earn it.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My body and my life are being shaped by His hand.
I am accepted in the Beloved. Grace has made me acceptable.
I am being renewed day by day, transformed from the inside out.
I am a receiver of grace. What I have is gift.
I am forgiven, fully and at cost. I forgive others because I was forgiven first.
I am fully known and fully loved. Nothing in me disqualifies me from that love.
I am adopted as His child, not a servant working for approval (Galatians 4:7).
I am secure. My identity does not rise and fall with my performance today.
I am a gift, and I am worthy of love, because God said so.
Reading #2 — What I Believe
I believe my thoughts matter, and I offer them to God to renew.
I believe divine love shines from within me because His Spirit dwells there.
I believe my worth is fixed and already given.
I believe I am strengthened by Him for what I face today.
I believe in prayer, as relationship with One who hears me, and I believe prayer changes things — my heart first, and sometimes circumstances too.
I believe when I ask, seek, and knock, I am heard (Matthew 7:7).
I believe every good gift comes from the Father of lights.
I believe faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).
I believe I walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7), even when I can’t yet see how things resolve.
I believe hope does not put me to shame, because His love has already been poured into my heart (Romans 5:5).
I believe I am being made into something beautiful.
I believe in compassion, and I extend it because it was extended to me.
I believe my life bears witness to grace.
I believe others’ welfare matters as much as my own.
I believe I am meant to help those who need me, out of what I’ve received.
I believe I participate in what God is doing in the world.
I believe there is one source, and I listen to him.
I believe in what He has done — always.
Reading #3 — My True Purpose
I follow the calling I’ve been given, and I act on it.
I am true to myself and to others.
I seek good outcomes for everyone in my relationships and my work.
My worth is settled, and my purpose flows from that settledness.
I let others help me. I was never meant to be self-sufficient.
I love people of every shape, size, color, and creed.
I am one with others in Christ.
I make decisions carefully, and I trust that even my mistakes are held by grace.
I am being sanctified, a slow work, and that is enough for today.
I am forgiven, and I am being made whole.
My future is held by grace.
I love my life and the people in it, imperfections included.
I am on the road home.
Reading #4 — Provision
I receive what God provides — financial, relational, physical, spiritual.
I trust the wisdom of God, Who orders all things for my good.
I hold money and provision loosely, as stewardship.
It is done. Christ has already accomplished what matters most.
Reading #5 — Decisions and Surrender
I bring my decisions to God rather than trusting my own record alone.
My decision-making is sound when it’s surrendered.
When I get it wrong, God meets me there and redirects me.
I hold my choices with humility.
I trust Him with what I cannot yet see the outcome of. That is what faith is for.
Reading #6 — I Love Our Clients
I love our clients. Loving well is the work.
They help us grow. I receive their praise with gratitude and their correction as a gift.
They want to do business with us, and I want to be trustworthy of that.
Today I will do my best to serve them well.
I am grateful when the work is enjoyable, and faithful to it when it isn’t.
I receive their feedback, even the hard kind.
We charge a fair price, and I trust that fairness sustains the business.
I love our clients as people.
Reading #7 — Grateful
I am grateful. Every good gift comes from the Father of lights.
God is good, and I trust His goodness even in what I don’t understand.
I try to see the good in people.
Provision comes to me as gift.
I receive grace, undeserved, and that is better than being owed.
I hold what’s given to me open-handed.
I am grateful — deeply loved — and I receive that, today, again.
“You are built for love from the inside out. You are built for love from the outside in. You exist in a universe that is love. You exist in a world that is aligned to love. We have bought the lie that it is hostile and oppositional to us. We need to remember what is deeply, most profoundly true about us and about everybody else on the planet. We are deeply, truly, passionately loved by the King and Creator of the universe and that is why we exist. It is spoken by love, it is formed by love, it is inbreathed by love. And only love can see the soul as it truly is. This is why it is so important that as part of the stewardship of your soul, you love the you that God loves. Because if you and God disagree, you’re wrong.” — Bill Dogterom on Genesis 2
Seeing is never believing: we interpret what we see in the light of what we believe. Faith is confidence in God before you see God emerging; therefore the nature of faith is that it must be tried. He Shall Glorify Me, 494 R
