This is how it started:

“God, I wake up heavy every morning. I feel fundamentally defective. I’m terrified my wife will reject me. I’m hearing my kids talk about how I hurt them and it’s unbearable. I don’t know how to believe I’m lovable. I’m exhausted from trying to be good enough.

I can’t fix this. I can’t discipline my way out. I can’t serve my way into worthiness.

Help me believe there’s nothing wrong with me. Help me stop seeing myself as the problem. Help me have compassion for the hurt child who learned he was unacceptable.

Not so I can be more useful to you. Just… because I’m yours. And you love me. Even broken. Even heavy. Even this.”

Slowly, patiently, I learn to surrender and embrace a new posture

“Lord, this is my attitude problem… and I know it comes from my heart problem. I can’t fix it on my own. Create in me a clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Give me a new heart and put Your Spirit in me (Ezekiel 36:26). Teach me to trust You with the shaping of my inner life, so that the attitudes that flow out are Yours—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”

The real rebellion—the real courage—is to pray:

“God, I’m in pain. I need help. I’m scared. I’m exhausted. I feel defective and I don’t know how to believe otherwise. Please help me. Not so I can be more useful—just because I need you.”

That feels selfish to you. Self-pitying. Wrong. But that’s actually faith. Faith isn’t “I’ll try harder and trust God will help me succeed.” Faith is “I can’t do this. I’m broken. And somehow, that’s okay. God loves me anyway.” The pursuit of intimacy with God. — Positive Intelligence 

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—————- 24 Hours A Day —————-

I pray that I may see signs of my growth in the new life.  I pray that I may always keep trying to grow.

I pray that I may grow more and more unselfish, honest, pure and loving. I pray that I may take the right path every day.

I pray that I may have no fear. I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life.

I pray that I may work for God and with God. I pray that I may be used to change human personalities through God’s help.

I pray that I may really try to do God’s will in all my affairs. I pray that I may do all I can to help others find God’s will for them.

I pray that I may be helped and healed by true spiritual fellowship. I pray that I may sense His presence in spiritual fellowship with His children.

I pray that I may be honest, pure, unselfish and loving. I pray that I may make the quality of my life good by these standards.

I pray that I may get my spirit in tune with the Spirit of the universe. I pray that through faith and communion with Him I may receive the strength I need.

I pray that I may look at great beauty of souls until their beauty of character becomes a part of my soul. I pray that I may reflect this character in my own life.

I pray that I may love the simple things of life. I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free.

I pray that I may become a channel for God’s spirit. I pray that God’s spirit may flow through me and into the lives of others.

I pray that I may persevere in what seems right. I pray that I may carry out all of God’s leading, as far as I can understand it.

I pray that my selfishness may not hinder my progress in spiritual matters. I pray that I may be a good instrument for God to work with.

I pray that I may not become distracted by material affairs. I pray that I may concentrate on doing what I can do best.

I pray that I may wear the world like a loose garment. I pray that I may keep serene at the center of my being.

I pray that I may persistently carry out my spiritual exercises every day. I pray that I may strive for peace and serenity.

I pray that my every spiritual need will be supplied by God. I pray that I may use the power I receive to help others.

I pray that I may persist day by day in gaining spiritual experience. I pray that I may make this a lifetime work.

I pray that I may open myself to the power of God’s spirit.  I pray that my relationships with others may be improved by this spirit.

I pray that I may have more faith and obedience. I pray that  I may live a more abundant life as a result of these things.

I pray that I may live my inner life with God. I pray that nothing shall invade or destroy that secret place of peace.

I pray that I may not be upset by the judgment of others. I pray that I may let God be the judge of the real me.

I pray that I may persevere in all good things. I pray that I may advance each day in spite of my stumbling feet.

I pray that I may let God run my life. I pray that I will never again make a mess of my life through trying to run it myself.

I pray that I may accept every challenge. I pray that each acceptance of a challenge may make me grow into a better person.

I pray that I may serve as a channel for God’s power to come into the lives of others. I pray that I may try to understand them.

I pray that I may be in the right relationship to God. I pray that God will interpret to me the personalities of other people, so that I can understand them and help them.

I pray that I may be open to receive God’s blessing. I pray that I may be willing to relinquish my hold on material things and receive them back from God.

I pray that I may become more unselfish. I pray that I may not be thrown off the track by letting the old selfishness creep back into my life.

I pray that I may be ready to profess my belief in God before others. I pray that I may not be turned aside by the skepticism and cynicism of unbelievers.

I pray that I may let God live in me as I work for Him. I pray that I may go out into the sunlight and work with God.

I pray that I may be an example to others of a better way of living. I pray that I may carry on in spite of hindrances.

I pray that I may live in the spirit of prayer. I pray that I may depend on God for the strength I need to help me to do my part in making the world a better place.

I pray that I may dwell with God at the center of my life.  I pray that I may keep that inner peace at the center of my being.

I pray that I may realize that God loves me, since He is the Father of us all. I pray that I in turn may have love for all of His children.

I pray that I may see the beautiful horizons ahead on the upward way. I pray that I may keep going forward to the more abundant life.

I pray that I may share in making the world a better place to live in. I pray that I may do what I can to bring goodness a little nearer to the earth.

I pray that I may always be under Divine Control and always practice unquestioning obedience to God. I pray that I may be always ready to serve Him.

I pray that I may use God’s goodness so that it will be a blessing to others. I pray that I may accept God’s blessing so that I will have harmony, beauty, joy, and happiness.

I pray that I may follow God in His eternal quest for souls. I pray that I may offer God my helping hand.

I pray that I may be in harmony with God and with other people. I pray that this harmony will result in strength and success.

I pray that I may be a true expression of Eternal Thought. I pray that God’s thoughts may work through my thoughts.

I pray for the realization that God has everything I need. I pray that I may know that His power is always available.

I pray that I may be a help to discouraged people. I pray that I may have the courage to help bring about what the weary world needs but does not know how to get.

I pray that I may choose the right. I pray that I may have God’s blessing and direction in all my efforts for good.

I pray that I may not be in too much of a hurry. I pray that  I may take time out often to rest with God.

I pray that I may rely on God in dealing with people’s problems. I pray that I may try to follow His guidance in all personal relationships.

I pray that I may learn how to have inner peace. I pray that I may be calm, so that God can work through me.

I pray that I may be used as a channel by God’s spirit. I pray that I may feel that the Divine Third is always there to help me.

I pray that I may feel protected and safe, but not only when I am in the harbor. I pray that I may have protection and safety even in the midst of the storms of life.

I pray that I may not judge other people. I pray that I may be certain that God can set right what is wrong in every personality.

I pray that I may not expect complete understanding from others. I pray that I may only expect this from God, as I try to grow more like Him.

I pray that I may form the habit of daily prayer. I pray that I may find the strength I need, as a result of this communion.

I pray that I may have faith’s look. I pray that by faith I may look beyond the now to eternal life.

I pray that the forces of evil in my life will flee before God’s presence. I pray that with God I will win the real victory over myself.

I pray that I may claim God’s strength whenever I need it. I pray that I may try to live as a child of God.

I pray that I may never become discouraged in helping others. I pray that I may always rely on the power of God to help me.

I pray that I may manifest God’s power in my daily living. I pray that I may discipline myself so as to be ready to meet every opportunity.

I pray that my life may be deeply rooted in faith. I pray that I may feel deeply secure.

I pray that I may try to practice the presence of God. I pray that by doing so I may never feel alone or helpless again.

I pray that I may be used by God to lighten many burdens. I pray that many souls may be helped through my efforts.

I pray that I may be taught how to pray. I pray that I may be linked through prayer to the mind and will of God.

I pray that I may tend the spark of the Divine within me so that it will grow. I pray that I may be gradually transformed from the old life to the new life.

I pray that I may try to love God and all people. I pray that I may continually thank God for all His blessings.

I pray that I may mold my life into something useful and good. I pray that I may not be discouraged by the slow progress that I make.

I pray that I may listen for the still, small voice of God. I pray that I may obey the leading of my conscience.

I pray that I may think of God as supplying my needs. I pray that I will bring all my problems to Him for help in meeting them.

I pray that I may be in harmony with God. I pray that I may get into the stream of goodness in the universe.

I pray that I may keep making deposits in God’s bank. I pray that in my hour of need, I may call upon these.

I pray that my life may be founded upon the rock of faith. I pray that I may be obedient to the heavenly vision.

I pray that I may try to think God’s thoughts after Him. I pray that my thoughts may be guided by His thoughts.

I pray that God will help me to become all that He would have me be. I pray that I may face today’s problem as with good grace.

I pray that I may earn the rewards of God’s power and peace. I pray that I may develop the feeling of being led by God.

I pray that I may not let God be crowded out by the hurly-burly of life. I pray that I may seek God early and often.

I pray that I may think of God often. I pray that I may rest in peace at the thought of His love and care.

I pray that I may see God with the eyes of faith. I pray that this seeing will produce a change in my personality.

I pray that I may have a calm and sane mind. I pray that I may look up, around, and away from myself.

I pray that I may not let myself become too upset. I pray that I may go quietly along the path I have chosen.

I pray that I may accept the limitless and eternal Spirit. I pray that It may express Itself in my life.

I pray that I may pass on my blessings. I pray that they may flow into the lives of others.

I pray that I may prepare myself for better things that God has in store for me. I pray that I may trust God for the future.

I pray that I may not carry the burden of the past. I pray that I may cast it off and press on in faith.

I pray that I may not be held back by the material things of the world. I pray that I may let God lead me forward.

I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need. I pray that I may go along with Him.

I pray that I may claim God’s supply of strength by my faith in Him. I pray that it shall be given to me according to my faith.

I pray for help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear.

I pray that I may be willing to go through a time of testing. I pray that I may trust God for the outcome.

I pray that I may have the faith to expect miracles. I pray that I may be used by God to help change the lives of others.

I pray that I will not be paralyzed by doubt. I pray that I may go along on the venture of faith.

I pray that I may have the faith to expect miracles. I pray that I may be used by God to help change the lives of others.

I pray that I may rely on God as I go through this day. I pray that I may feel deeply secure, no matter what happens to me.

I pray that I may trust God to keep me in the way. I pray that I may rely on Him not to let me go.

I pray that I may await with complete faith for the next good thing in store for me. I pray that I may always keep an expectant attitude toward life.

I pray that God may protect and keep me as long as I try to serve Him. I pray that I may go forward today unafraid.

I pray that I may climb the ladder of life without fear. I pray that I may progress steadily through the rest of my life with faith and confidence.

I pray that I may find a haven in the thought of God. I pray that I may abide in that Strong Tower, strongly guarded.

I pray that I may remove all blocks that are keeping me from God. I pray that I may let God come into my life with power.

I pray that I may walk humbly with God. I pray that I may rely on His grace to carry me through.

I pray that I may expect miracles in the lives of people. I pray that I may be used to help people change.

I pray that I may live according to the dictates of my conscience. I pray that I may leave the results to God.

I pray that I may have enough faith to make me really effective. I pray that I may learn to depend less on myself and more on God.

I pray that I may not allow those about me to spoil my peace of mind. I pray that I may keep a deep inner calm throughout the day.

I pray that I may keep close to the Mind of God. I pray that I may live with Him in my heart and mind.

I pray that I may hold my life in trust for God. I pray that I may no longer consider my life as all my own.

I pray that I may be grateful for God’s spirit in me. I pray that I may try to live in accordance with it.

I pray that I may try to walk humbly with God. I pray that I may turn to Him often as to a close friend. 

I pray that I may strive for inward peace. I pray that I may not be seriously upset, no matter what happens around me.

I pray that I may face every situation without fear. I pray that nothing will prove too hard for me to bear.

I pray for a truly thankful heart. I pray that I may be constantly reminded of causes for sincere gratitude.

I pray that I may become attuned to the will of God. I pray that I may be in harmony with the music of the spheres.

I pray that I may make my day count somewhat for God. I pray that I may not spend it all selfishly.

I pray that I may be in the stream of eternal life. I pray that I may be cleansed and healed by the Eternal Spirit.

I pray that I may be daily refilled with the right spirit. I pray that I may be full of the joy of true living.

I pray that I may feel deeply that all is well. I pray that nothing will be able to move me from that deep conviction.

I pray that I may be ready to make the proper effort. I pray that I may also recognize the need for relaxation.

I pray that I may be daily willing to be changed. I pray that I may put myself wholly at the mercy of God.

I pray that I may be led out of disorder into order. I pray that I may be led out of failure into success.

I pray that I may be a co-worker with God. I pray that I may help people by my example.

I pray that I may make real progress toward a better life. I pray that I may never be satisfied with my present state.

I pray that I may live in the sunshine of God’s spirit. I pray that my mind and soul may be energized by it.

I pray that I may not look back. I pray that I may keep picking myself up and making a fresh start each day.

I pray that I may be freed from things that hold me down. I pray that my spirit may soar in freedom.

I pray that I may make good use of my mistakes and failures. I pray that some good may result from my painful experiences.

I pray that I may realize that life without a goal is futile.  I pray that I may find the good life worth striving for.

I pray that I may willingly submit to whatever spiritual discipline is necessary. I pray that I may accept whatever it takes to live a better life.

I pray that I may give my share of love and service. I pray that I may not grow weary in my attempts to do the right thing.

I pray that I may live to give. I pray that I may learn this secret of abundant living.

I pray that I may feel that God’s love will never fail. I pray that I may have confidence in His unfailing power.

I pray that I may not interfere with the working of God’s spirit in me and through me. I pray that I may give it full rein.

I pray that I may rest and abide in the presence of the unseen God. I pray that I may leave my burdens in His care.

I pray that I may keep progressing in the better life. I pray that I may be a part of the forces for good in the world.

I pray that I may live each day as though it were my last. I pray that I may live my life as though it were everlasting.

I pray that I may go each day to God as a refuge until fear goes and peace and security come. I pray that I may feel deeply secure in the Haven of His spirit.

I pray that I may walk in God’s love, I pray that, as I go, I may feel the caring of God’s power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart.

I pray that I may try to rely more fully on the grace of God. I pray that I may live a victorious life.

I pray that I may not expect too much from the world. I pray that I may also be content with the rewards that come from serving God.