If You Have a Jesus You Like, You Have the Wrong One (my attitude “problem”)
Reflections on Bill Dogterom, Romans 12, and the Impossible Command to Love
“Bill Dogterom has taught many times about the love and direction of Jesus and the challenges of following Him, saying: ‘If you have a Jesus you like, you have the wrong one.’ I understand this deeply as I have struggled with fear and shame. The more I understand what love is—which is about others and being created in the image of God—the more I see that human relationships and intimacy require forgiveness, service, sacrifice, patience, kindness, the fruits of the Spirit (1 Cor 13), and maturity. It is something I must do regardless of how I feel. This is not only difficult, but impossible without hope, trust, faith in God, and obedience. It is in Romans 12—Love in action.”
The Scriptural Tension: Love vs. Self-Centered Fear
The following verses highlight the friction between our natural desire for self-preservation and the radical, outward-facing command to love like Christ:
- Matthew 16:24-25 (The Death of Ego): “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
- 1 John 4:18 (The Antidote to Shame): “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
- Luke 6:32-35 (The “Unlovable” Test): “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?… But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.”
- John 15:12-13 (The Standard of Sacrifice): “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
- Galatians 5:13, 16-17 (The Internal War): “Serve one another humbly in love… For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other.”
- Romans 12:9-10 (Sincere Action): “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
- 2 Timothy 1:7 (Power Over Timidity): “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
- 1 Peter 4:8 (The Covering of Love): “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Comparing the Two Visions of “Love”
| The Jesus We “Like” (Self-Centered) | The Biblical Jesus (Christ-Centered) | The Resulting Tension |
|---|---|---|
| Seeks emotional comfort | Seeks spiritual maturity | Pruning: It hurts to grow. |
| Avoids conflict and shame | Embraces the Cross | Vulnerability: Risking rejection. |
| Loves those who are “like us” | Loves the “other” and the enemy | Inclusion: Breaking our boundaries. |
| Based on current feelings | Based on radical obedience | Character: Doing right when it’s hard. |
Conclusion: The Call to Transformation
To love as Jesus loves is humanly impossible. It requires a “metamorphosis” of the mind (Romans 12:2). We are not simply “trying harder” to be nice; we are dying to our need for control and safety so that Christ can live through us.
Reflect: Today, who in your life is owed a “debt of love” (Romans 13:8) that you have been avoiding out of fear? Will you choose the Jesus of comfort, or the Jesus of the Cross?
Prayer: Lord, renew my mind so that I may love others not out of my own fear, but out of Your infinite grace. Amen.