My mom’s new boyfriend told me the easy yoke means to man up. He’s the smart guy at church who makes the Bible teacher hand over the pulpit. I heard it and thought, that’s not what Jesus said. I’ll admit I enjoyed thinking it a little too much.

Then I went back to Matthew 11. Jesus doesn’t say, “Try harder.” He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He says He is gentle and humble in heart. That is not an invitation to toughness. It is an invitation to stop striving and rest.

A yoke was a wooden frame for two oxen, and it was also the word for a teacher’s way of life. Easy doesn’t mean it takes no effort. It means it fits, like a yoke carved for the one wearing it, so it doesn’t rub raw. I know what a bad fit feels like. I carried one for decades, and I called it responsibility.

What I hear now is the opposite of manning up. I’m allowed to say I’m tired. I’m allowed to say I can’t hold it all together and I need help. The strength comes after that, not before it, and it comes from being hitched to Him instead of pulling alone.

I don’t have to pretend I have it together anymore.